Christmas Close to Your Hearts
by Ms. Moonstar
Summary: The Doctor has lost Amy and Rory and is mourning. But a visit from River song and a letter may give him a little Christmas hope. Prequel to the Christmas special.


Christmas Close to Your Hearts

_A/N: I want to wish everyone Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, and happy winter solstice._

* * *

The TARDIS was quiet, too quiet with only its brooding Time Lord on board. The Doctor found himself at the doors of his former companions' room, but never had the courage to enter through it. And he had been neglecting himself since Amy and Rory died in New York. He was constantly fixing things on board the time machine that need not be repaired, and sleeping even less than his unique biology would allow. His ship being the sentient machine that it was, had placed plates of food and even snacks in convenient places that he could find them, all which he ignored. He'd kept track of the linear time since then and found that it was nearly Christmas, though he was little mood to celebrate.

It was much to the relief to the soul of that magical machine when River Song had materialized onto the deck of the console room. The Doctor who was under the panel, sitting in his hammock, goggles over his eyes which River always found to be kind of sexy. One leg was anchored to the ground, while the other was slung over it.

She sauntered down one of the winding stair cases behind him, intent on surprising him. She held on the railing, observing his work before speaking up, "The TARDIS says that she's had enough work done on her, thank you."

The Doctor started slightly, pulling up his goggles to look over at her. It was then that, perhaps through the lit moorings, that she noticed that the Doctor looked pale and almost sickly in nature.

She strode over to him, eyebrow knit together with worry as she took his head in her hands. "Doctor, you look poorly. You've not been eating, have you?" The Doctor's eyes turned downward to the floor, confirming her suspicions. "Sweetie, you can't keep doing this. Amy and Rory are gone, but they are together, happy." She ran one hand through his dark brown locks. "Isn't it time to stop being stroppy?"

He sighed heavily as River sat next to him, "I've ruined so many lives, River. How many will it take for me to get it right?"

"Honey, they made their decision, it was not for you to choose for Amy to join her husband in the 1930's. They got to spend the rest of their natural lives as husband and wife, and even adopted a kid."

The Doctor nodded dumbly, making an effort to smile, laying his head on her shoulder.

"I tell you what, why don't we park the TARDIS somewhere in London and I'll take you somewhere special?"

The Time Lord lifted his head enough to look over at her, "Hey, I thought that was my line!"

"You can't always get the best ones, sweetie." River teased.

* * *

When the TARDIS landed, The Doctor popped his head out the double doors, then stepped out, followed, a large picnic basket in one arm, and a well worn blanket folded over the other.

"Where are we?" River asked, not really interested in the modern buildings and city lights.

"Mayfair, about 1986. Nothing really spectacular about this era." The Doctor answered with a shrug.

"Good," His wife exclaimed, "then the TARDIS won't mind if we leave here for a while." She wrapped her arm around his.

"River, what-" The Doctor spluttered, but only got as far as that before she had tapped in coordinates into her vortex manipulator an they disappeared in a sudden flash of light.

Materializing again, the two Time Lords found themselves in a open empty field with nothing but trees in the distance, and the vast sky, along with a nearly new moon above their heads.

The Doctor popped a finger into his mouth and then raised it to the heavens, "I'd say we were in...Germany, about 1758."

"December 25th, 1758." She added with a smile. Spreading the blanket, River plopped down on it and patted an empty spot. "Come sit down, Doctor."

He sat while River reached behind her for the basket full of food, pulling out a futuristic camping light, followed by a cellophane wrapped plate of fish fingers, and a bowl of custard. The Doctor seemed to pale and looked away at the food.

River had noticed this and stopped uncorking the apple cider that he seemed to love so much. "Doctor? What's wrong?"

"Fish fingers and custard, that was the first thing we ate together." He choked, close to tears again.

"Oh sweetie, I"m sorry. I thought it would help you remember happier times. We don't have to eat it if you don't want to." She said gently, starting to wrap them again.

"No, it's okay, River; you went though a lot of trouble to make it an it'd be rude not to eat." The Doctor assured her, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his coat.

The Doctor did nibble at the processed food, until finally River sighed in exasperation. "Doctor, please eat something, I don't want you to get ill. Here," she tucked her feet under her and patted her lap, "lay your head down. Mind you don't get crumbs on my dress."

The Time Lord laid down, still munching at the custard covered fish finger, his head facing the blanket of stars. "River," he asked quietly between chews, "Why'd you bring me here?" His voice sounded sad and almost dejected.

"I would have thought you would know, being a genius and all." She jibed, running her hand through his hair. " She glanced up at all the stars. "Look at all them, you've probably went all of planets that are not even visible in the sky."

"Not all of them, River." He jibed with the first hint a smile which she saw when she looked down at him, the twinkle in his eye having slightly returned. "And you didn't answer my question."

"To see that," The female Time Lord pointed up to the sky, where a large white comet tail was slowing tracking across the cover of night.

"Haley's Comet!" The Doctor gasped, his hazel eyes large as plates, as though he'd seen it for the first time.

"I would have thought you would have seen it a dozen times over by now," River replied with raised eyebrows.

The Doctor shrugged, "Once or twice. What's the fun of Earth when you could follow it's track, eh?" he chortled. "This is beautiful though." He smiled up at her, "Not as much as you though, dear."

River put her hand to her chest and feigned flattery, "Bless! You're such a romantic, Doctor."

There was awkward silence for a while, then he finally spoke as the last vestiges of the famous comet disappeared out of their line of sight.

"I promised Brian-" The Doctor managed to croak at last "I promised him that they wouldn't die on my watch."

"When will you stop being so thick, Doctor? It wasn't your fault, for goodness sakes!" River asserted sharply, making the Doctor pull himself to a sitting position to look at her. "I'll never see my parents again, but I'll cherish the memories of spending time with them." Her features softened, "I'm not saying that you need to forget them. I'm just saying to mourn their loss, but remember what you had with them." She dipped another fish finger into the bowl of custard and handed it to him. "And they wouldn't want you to get run down from not eating."

The Doctor nodded dully, and together they soon finished off the little picnic.

* * *

As they returned to the TARDIS console room, River noted that he absently flipped switches without his normal excitable nature when he had someone to travel the stars with. Putting aside the basket and blanket, she wandered next to him. "Doctor," she fussed, "let's not go anywhere for a while. I want to show you something."

She led him by the hand, and he didn't resist as they climbed the short staircase to the bedroom wing of the time machine. Much to his surprise, they passed his sparsely used bedroom and walked a few feet further to Amy and Rory's room. The Doctor sent a look of confusion towards his wife, before she turned the knob and cracked open the door. Taking his hand, the pair cautiously entered the now unoccupied room.

The walls were white with a accent wall that was TARDIS blue. In the middle of the room was a large king sized bed that had matching vibrant azure bedsheets that was neatly made. The vanity dressing table was covered in feminine beauty products and combs. On the wall next to it were all taped pictures of them together. Her and Rory, the three of them, and all the Ponds and the Doctor himself. In one of the pictures was a shot of him laying asleep in the hammock under the console, mouth open and arm dangling down, underneath it was the caption "My Raggedy Doctor". The picture adjacent was one of them from an amusement park planet, their hair and clothes disheveled, grinning ear to ear.

The Doctor plucked this photo gently from the wall and sat on the edge of the bed. River stood next to him, pulling a red envelope from her dress pocket.  
"They wanted me to give you this."

The Doctor held out hid hand to take it, reading the loopy cursive writing of Amy, the smell of her perfume on the letter.

"Where did you get this?" He rasped.

River settled next to him, "Found among their possessions," she said quietly, their son gave it to me when I was able to locate him." There was a pause and she added softly, "Maybe you should read it." She sat back next to him. letting him rest his head on her shoulder.

Flipping back the envelope flap, and withdrew a card that was unmistakably from the 1940's. Opening it, a small black and white photograph of Amy, Rory, and their son slid into his lap. He picked it up, amazed at how little his Ponds' had changed. Amy was wearing a period style dress, her hair in a ponytail. Next to her was Rory in a the same dark,period suit and brandishing a slight smile. On Amy's lap was a child of no more than one year old with blond hair and blue eyes that had obviously had not come from either parent and was evidently their adopted child.

Finally, the Doctor's eyes strode to the panel of writing in the card that was no doubt Amy's own.

_Dear Doctor, _

_First I guess I should say "Merry Christmas." Rory and I are doing fine here in New York, though it took some time and effort to get established here. And I guess you'd probably laugh if sometimes I find myself missing Twitter. _The Doctor couldn't help but chuckle at this as he continued to read:

_This year (1946) we were able to finally adopt a child we named Anthony Brian Williams and will be spending our first Christmas with him. We managed to come through the War okay, but it was so terrible! I had heard about the rationing in school, but I never imagined, you know, actually living it! And Rory sometimes came home to tell me about all the wounds that soldiers returning to New York from Europe had received. But I guess I shouldn't talk about that in a Christmas letter, eh? _

_Rory and I have new sets of friends, and a new home on East Clinton Street in Manhattan. Rory became a doctor, did I tell you, Doctor? He felt he'd be more useful in this era (especially with things to come) as one.  
_

_Doctor, I don't want you to mourn us when we've gone. We had a great life with you and it brought Rory and I closer together. Our lives have changed, but that doesn't mean we'll ever forget you. We knew as did you that we'd stop traveling, but we will love you, always and as long as we're together, we'll be happy.  
_

_Take good care of our daughter, and be happy.  
_

_Love Always,  
_

_Amy, Rory and Anthony Pond.  
_

The Time Lords both sniffled when they had reached the end of the letter.

"So, what are you going to do?" River inquired quietly to her husband, brushing aside some tears with a pink handkerchief she'd taken from another pocket.

"I need time, River." He breathed, the tiredness and emotion finally catching up with him as she saw his eyelids beginning to droop, "London...Victorian era..." he whispered in a nonsensical manner. Finally, the slow, steady breaths informed her that he'd fallen asleep.

River stood slowly as to not wake him and maneuvered him so that his body was laid out on the bed. She placed the card on the bedside table and regarded that the picture of his former companions was clutched close to his hearts.

River Song kissed her husband's cheek, "Goodnight, Sweetie."

It would take a while, but with this letter, she knew he would heal in time from his loss of Amy and Rory. Feeling that she should give him some space to do so, she tapped a few buttons on her vortex manipulator, and vanished into a beam of white light.

**THE END**


End file.
